Peppermint
by VoteHarrySaxon
Summary: Oneshots about the Doctor and The Master, from all regenerations.
1. Peppermint

If there's one thing my Thief will always be conscious of, it will be how he smells. Right now, it's peppermint. He doesn't know how, not really. He doesn't even really like peppermint, well, not in this regeneration. But he doesn't mind it.

Growing up, his best friend had always smelled like peppermint. Maybe because of his habit of carrying mints in his pocket, or because he just did, Thief never really cared. Later in life, after Thief and his dear friend married, Thief's husband always smelled like peppermint and old paper. An odd combination, but a good one.

After Thief's husband left, no, not like….oh, what's it called, divorce? Yes, divorce. Not like divorce, more like….running. Yes, running. From the Time War. After he left, Thief's husband smelled like cigars and old paper. Thief still cringes at the thought.

That changed to just old paper, and catnip. All that did was make Thief embarrassed to know his _dear _husband could stoop so low as to visit The Cheetah World.

When he stole that body, he smelled like that really fancy cologne. The cologne Thief figured out he loved on that long night. Oh, how he loved that cologne.

But it doesn't matter. After Thief's husband stole me, and hurt me, and turned me into some...monster, he smelled like wine and that cologne. Not that Thief cared, he was too busy grieving for the girl who walked the earth, and the con man. I always thought Thief should pay more attention to the con man, they would make a perfect couple.

Before Thief regenerated, his husband smelled like peppermint. How, Thief will never know. After all, his husband was stuck in a complete….dump. Really, he was.

Perhaps that's why he's so fond of the smell. Perhaps it reminds Thief of home, of his dear Master, his dear Koschei. I don't blame him. His TARDIS, my sister, was rather nice.


	2. Thief's 1500th wedding anniversary

"June 20th," My Thief mutters, staring at the Earth cup in his hands. No, cup isn't right. Neither is pillow. Newspaper! It's a newspaper. "June 20th." He mutters again. He tugs nervously at his bow tie.

"What's so important about today?" Dalek Girl, ignorant, idiot Dalek Girl asks. I hate Dalek Girl. She replaced My Amelia.

"Nothing." Thief says, slamming the paper in a bin. He looks too...panicky. Too nervous. Dalek Girl knows.

"It's something." She says. Thief briefly glances behind her, and shakes his head.

"We're in the wrong place. Back inside, Clara." Thief says, swinging my door open. If I could laugh, I would. Thief never goes to the right date. Never. That was a horrible excuse, Thief. I would tell you, if I could.

"Do you smell that?" Dalek Girl asks. Thief quickly shakes his head. I would palm face, no, _facepalm,_ that's the right word, if I could.

"Smell what?" Thief asks, his,voice higher than normal. Dalek Girl smirks. Stupid smug Dalek Girl. I'm locking you in your room later. And shutting off the power. So there.

"It smells like...like mint." Dalek Girl says, sniffing. Thief shakes his head.

"You're going crazy. Back inside, Clara." Thief says, gently pushing Dalek Girl inside. The whole time, he can't take his eyes off of the man on the bench. The blonde man, in the suit.

"Don't insult crazy, Theta." The blonde man, The Master, my Thief's best enemy, says. Thief freezes at the sound of his nickname. "You've had a few...questionable regenerations."

"28. Storage box 28." Thief says. The Master smiles at him. "I'm changing the locks tomorrow, so there's no sense in keeping the key." Thief says, rather nervously. I huff. He is not! I won't permit it. What if my Martha needs in? Or my dear Sarah Jane? Or my little Susan? I won't let him lock them out.

"I suppose I'll be seeing you later then, Theta." The Master says, folding his own newspaper, and stuffing it under his arm. I huff again.

It's bad enough to deal with Dalek Girl. Now I have to deal with The Master, too?

Thief waves a hand dismissively, and climbs back inside. He looks so calm. But I can tell, I can just tell, he's planning how to greet his dear husband tonight. I shudder, causing everything to shake. Thief looks at the console, and grins.

"Sorry, old girl, but my 1500th wedding anniversarydon't come along every day." Old Girl? No! Bad Thief! I'm not 'Old Girl!' I'm Sexy!

Oh, I'm locking you in your room as well.

* * *

_**This chapter hardly had anything to do with peppermint. But, I think I'm going to continue 'Peppermint,' and just make it a collection of oneshots. Here's part two!**_


	3. The Master's Letter

_"My Dear Doctor,_

_**FIX THAT DAMNED CHAMELEON CIRCUIT ALREADY. **_

_ Also I've made dinner. I know you don't eat whenever one of your Earth girls leave. Your plate is beside the console. Neglect to eat it, and I do believe I'll have to force feed you. You remember how unpleasant that is. _

___ XOXO,_

_ The Master"_

"Doctor?" Rose calls, quizzically. She'd been rummaging through the wardrobe, looking for a warmer jacket, when she'd stumbled upon this note, all crinkled and yellow and ugly.

"Yeah?" He answers, his voice muffled, most likely by some shirt or another. Probably one with ruffles, knowing him.

"I found a note." Rose says. She holds the piece of paper up, as if The Doctor would be able to see it.

"Did you?" He asks, absentmindedly. Rose rolls her eyes, and drops her arm.

"Yeah, it's from some bloke who calls himself The Master." She says. The note is quickly snatched from her hand, and stuffed into The Doctor's pocket. His cheeks are slightly flushed; as if he'd experimented with blush. Rose smirks at the mental image. "You know him?"

"Not anymore." The Doctor says. He purses his lips, and marches out of the room. Rose shrugs, and turns back to the box, and the obnoxious multicolored jacket inside it.

_**I hope this chapter is okay. I spent three hours writing it, even though it's so short. **_

**_Well, I hope you guys enjoyed it!_**

**_Also, what do you guys think of Missy so far? I'm not exactly sure what to think of her._**


	4. Why Not?

"How the hell did you manage this?" The Doctor asks, staring at the woman

"I wanted to see if boobs were actually as heavy as Ushas used to say. Let me tell you, they really aren't. They're really very useful, y—

"I don't want to hear what you've done with your...chest." The Doctor says, scowling. Missy grins.

"Would you like to see instead?"

"NO!"

"Sure you do." Missy says, wrapping her arms around The Doctor. Normally, she would be unbuttoning her shirt, and he would stop talking and stare or whatever. But now, now she sees his stupid companion out of the corner of her eye, and oh how that girl _annoys _her! She pretends like she's the first person to ever have bossed The Doctor around. "Oh c'mon, it'll be fun. I'll show you mine, you'll show me yours."

"I'm not having sex with you!" The Doctor says. Missy tightens her grip, and looks up at him.

"Why not? Is it the nose? Sorry about that, I was thinking about four. The things he could do with the scarf was—

"I don't want to remember that." The Doctor says, scowling. Missy frowns.

"Fine. We'll make _new_ memories."

"No we won't."  
"Why _not? _ Is it your stupid earth girl?" missy asks, a plan blooming inside her mind. "You like her better than me, don't you?" She asks, pretending to sniffle. "I should've known. She is younger, and much prettier, and probably very fle—

Missy is interrupted by a sudden sigh, and a forceful kiss.

"No. I just don't want her watching."

* * *

_**Sorry for another short chapter! But I got a new laptop for Christmas, and will hopefully be posting more. Maybe even today, if I can ever finish up what was supposed to be chapter 5.**_


	5. Honey

"Doctor? Do you have any honey?" Rose asks, rounding the corner into the control room. The Doctor, hunched over the controls with his back towards her, shrugs. It's an odd motion for him – he hardly ever shrugs, especially silently. – Rose narrows her eyes, and sets her bowl full of half made gingerbread on a chair. "Do you have a problem?"

"No." The Doctor says, quietly. "Just…thinking."

"About what? You really couldn't have helped Jabe." Rose says. The Doctor sighs.

"You're right. I couldn't have. Doesn't mean I couldn't have _tried_." He says. He presses a button, and the odd writing on the screen disappears. Rose hadn't really noticed it before. The Doctor stuffs a piece of paper in his pocket, and spins around. He glances toward the orange bowl on the chair, and scowls. "Gingerbread? Really?"

"What's wrong with that?" Rose asks, pouting.

"Sugar cookies are better." The Doctor says. But what he really meant was _"When I was still married, I used to make gingerbread cookies with my husband, and my kids. It was nearly always a disaster, and someone nearly always had to have their hair thoroughly washed, but that means you can't make it."_

"Just appreciate the cookies." Rose says, scowling. She tucks the bowl under her arm. "Now, where's the honey?"

"In the kitchen. The red pantry – top shelf, it's a bear." The Doctor says. Rose nods, and treks back toward the kitchen. The Doctor watches her leave, and turns back toward the screen. He presses another button – accidentally dimming the lights – and scowls. "Sorry," He mutters. He presses another button – the right one this time – and a message, written in Gallifreyan, of course, pops up –

_You won't receive this when I need you to. A type 40 TARDIS just doesn't have the capacity. But none the less, this message is entirely vital._

_An unimportant, and undetermined, amount of time ago, our 758__th__ anniversary rolled around. We had plans to go to Earth, to that restaurant you oh so loved, but unfortunately, your pet interrupted. Really, who tries to make a bomb in the middle of the time vortex? _

_So, I've decided I won't try to reschedule. We're both simply too busy. Instead, I will leave you with the reminder I love you terribly, even if your hair is too curly for your own good, and that you need to __**EAT SOMETHING BEFORE I SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT. **_

_~Your (loving) husband_

"I'm sorry." The Doctor says, his voice barely above a whisper. "I love you, too."

_**Brownie points if you can guess what regeneration The Doctor's in.**_


	6. Regret VS Snuggles

Staring at the world below, The Doctor felt a pang of guilt. Guilt for the hundreds of innocent people that had to die. Guilt for turning away from Martha's pleading, from Jack's constant begging to _please, please help us. _Or maybe it was guilt for his TARDIS, the one he hadn't seen in nearly four years.

But that pang never lasted long.

The Master always knew when his prize was upset. He also knew that when his prize is upset, he isn't much of a prize. More of a sopping rag. And on top of that, The Master wasn't particularly fond of an upset prize. It secretly made his hearts hurt to know the man he loved oh so much was in pain that he hadn't caused.

And so, he'd search The Valiant, looking for the other Time Lord. And when he found him, he'd pull him into his arms, The Doctor's eleventh regeneration being so much shorter than his, and fitting perfectly against him, like a puzzle piece. They would stay like that for hours, until the Doctor's tears stopped and his complaints of a headache started.

"Drink something and take a nap." The Master would say. The Doctor shook his head against The Master's chest, something he was fond of doing ever since The Master had started wearing his old cologne again.

"I don't want to be alone now." The Doctor would say.

"You won't be. I'll be with you." The Master told him, rubbing his back. This always appeased The Doctor, as he always did lay down. However, he never truly relaxed until The Master lay down next to him, once again wrapping his arms around the other Time Lord.

And in the arms of his lover, his master, The Doctor's guilt went away, replaced by a warm, content feeling and the thought that perhaps the sacrifice of a whole planet had been worth it.

* * *

_**Here's chapter 6. Enjoy :)**_


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